Quotes of the Day from Kindergarten, Day 81

Literally as they enter the classroom:

Nigel: "Ms. Kirch, see my eye?  It's red.  Actually pink.  I have pink eye.  But it's not the contagious kind."

My thoughts: "First of all, he knows the word contagious?  He's five years old.  And secondly, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure all pink eye is contagious.  He's going to the nurse."

Next, Geraldine enters...

Geraldine: "Ms. Kirch, I wasn't here yesterday."

My thoughts: "Umm, I know..."

Geraldine: "I was sick."

Me: "Well I'm glad you're feeling better.  What kind of sick... headache, stomachache?"

Geraldine: "I had bugs in my head."

My thoughts: "Is she trying to say she has a mental illness?  What is she talking about?  Oh my gosh *ALARM BELLS LICE ALARM BELLS*, she probably means bugs in her HAIR!"

Me: "You mean bugs in your hair?"

Geraldine: "Yes.  But don't worry, my mom got them all out."

Me: "NO.  You're going to the nurse.  Walk with Nigel."

All this is before 8am.